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9步教你如何擺脫前任的陰影

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9步教你如何擺脫前任的陰影

Getting over your ex is one of the greatest dilemmas. It’s rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts and even living quarters. Maybe the most frustrating thing about the whole process is that even if ending the relationship was the right thing to do -- even if he or she cheated on you -- it can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life.

擺脫前任陰影應該是世上最大的困境之一。這個過程很少是短暫的,而你倆的那些共同點則讓這個過程更加復雜。最麻煩的是那些你們都認識的朋友、都喜歡去的地方,甚至是住的地方。還有讓你自己感覺到不爭氣的莫過于明明知道分手是是正確的選擇,甚至是對方先給你戴綠帽子的,但是你還是忘不了從前,讓生活止步不前。

We’ve put together a list of the 11 tips for getting over your ex. Follow this program from start to finish, and you’ll be back to your old self in no time.

我們為你列舉了9個竅門,只要你照著做,保證能滿血復活。

1. Take Him or Her Off That Pedestal

把TA從你心里的神座上拉下來

First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift. Make a list of his or her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her.

首先的首先:不要再認為你的前任是上帝賜給你的禮物。列一個TA的八婆特質清單。讓你的好朋友給你說說TA的壞話。

2. Get Closure

快刀斬亂麻

If you’re going to break up with him or her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup. The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.

一旦你決定分手,那么不要拖。要讓對方明白現在是個什么情況,這是分手。如果你們兩個人都決定分手那么意味著你們都想認識其他人。如果你想讓你的感情成為過去式,那么當機立斷。這樣你也不會再見到TA。

3. Don't Contact

別再聯系

After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it.

如果你們分手,就不要再聯系。做就做絕,講真,要做絕。也許你說過還可以做朋友之類的屁話,或者是你可以隨時聯系我之類的傻話,全都忘了吧。

4. Work Out

去健身

Without a person gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog.

少了個人每天在你身邊嗶嗶,你可能不知道一個人要干啥。單身以后健身和慢跑都是不錯的選擇。

5. Don't Try Getting Your Stuff Back

不要從前任那里拿回你的東西

By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at his or her place. Consider it gone.

同樣的,你不想從前任那里拿回你的東西。如果你讓自己見到前任,那么你就很難擺脫這段感情的陰影。所以忘了你的東西,就當丟了。

6. Hang With Your Friends

和朋友一起出去

One of the things many guys have to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was spending a lot of time with friends. Relationships are notorious time-bandits, as being with the person you're closest to tends to take priority over catching up with your buddies. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with everyone you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic, because hanging out with your friends is one of the most rewarding of our tips for getting over your ex.在對彼此有承諾的愛侶間消磨時間,往往會占用與朋友們維系感情的時間。時間是盜賊,你也背上了見色忘義的罪名。現在你單身了,找回熟悉的狐朋狗友,不僅能收獲樂趣,還能幫你治療情傷,忘記前任。

7. Remember The Bad Times

記住以前的不愉快

It’s pretty common for people to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk of this person, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be. Snap out of it. One of the most important of our tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect the bad habits and the little things about the relationship that frustrated you.

男人的通病就是分手之后總會不由得記起對方的好。日子照常過,但突然有一刻,你想起了只有兩個人才知道的笑話,或是一次很棒的約會。接著回憶起前任古靈精怪、討人喜歡的性格,以及非常合拍的愛愛。快點適時停止,提醒你最重要的一點是,不要忘了你們之前的不愉快,以及那些壞習慣和讓你覺得厭煩的雞零狗碎。

8. Exercise Your Newfound Freedoms

利用空閑,釋放自我

Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’re free to do whatever you want (within the bounds of the law, of course).

關系意味著妥協(有時候你不得不放棄自己的時間來維系某種關系)。終于可以利用單身的時間想做什么就做什么了。

9. Hook Up With Someone Else

勾搭其他人

One thing that a lot of guys do to get over exes is get someone else into the picture. If you think you could benefit from a sexual encounter without emotions, it might be work checking out a few hookup websites.

忘記前任很多人都會選擇勾搭其他人。如果單純的新激情能讓你感覺到心理補償的話,那就找個類似“陌陌”的網站。

Getting over your ex is one of the greatest dilemmas. It’s rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts and even living quarters. Maybe the most frustrating thing about the whole process is that even if ending the relationship was the right thing to do -- even if he or she cheated on you -- it can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life.

擺脫前任陰影應該是世上最大的困境之一。這個過程很少是短暫的,而你倆的那些共同點則讓這個過程更加復雜。最麻煩的是那些你們都認識的朋友、都喜歡去的地方,甚至是住的地方。還有讓你自己感覺到不爭氣的莫過于明明知道分手是是正確的選擇,甚至是對方先給你戴綠帽子的,但是你還是忘不了從前,讓生活止步不前。

We’ve put together a list of the 11 tips for getting over your ex. Follow this program from start to finish, and you’ll be back to your old self in no time.

我們為你列舉了9個竅門,只要你照著做,保證能滿血復活。

1. Take Him or Her Off That Pedestal

把TA從你心里的神座上拉下來

First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift. Make a list of his or her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her.

首先的首先:不要再認為你的前任是上帝賜給你的禮物。列一個TA的八婆特質清單。讓你的好朋友給你說說TA的壞話。

2. Get Closure

快刀斬亂麻

If you’re going to break up with him or her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup. The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.

一旦你決定分手,那么不要拖。要讓對方明白現在是個什么情況,這是分手。如果你們兩個人都決定分手那么意味著你們都想認識其他人。如果你想讓你的感情成為過去式,那么當機立斷。這樣你也不會再見到TA。

3. Don't Contact

別再聯系

After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it.

如果你們分手,就不要再聯系。做就做絕,講真,要做絕。也許你說過還可以做朋友之類的屁話,或者是你可以隨時聯系我之類的傻話,全都忘了吧。

4. Work Out

去健身

Without a person gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog.

少了個人每天在你身邊嗶嗶,你可能不知道一個人要干啥。單身以后健身和慢跑都是不錯的選擇。

5. Don't Try Getting Your Stuff Back

不要從前任那里拿回你的東西

By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at his or her place. Consider it gone.

同樣的,你不想從前任那里拿回你的東西。如果你讓自己見到前任,那么你就很難擺脫這段感情的陰影。所以忘了你的東西,就當丟了。

6. Hang With Your Friends

和朋友一起出去

One of the things many guys have to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was spending a lot of time with friends. Relationships are notorious time-bandits, as being with the person you're closest to tends to take priority over catching up with your buddies. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with everyone you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic, because hanging out with your friends is one of the most rewarding of our tips for getting over your ex.在對彼此有承諾的愛侶間消磨時間,往往會占用與朋友們維系感情的時間。時間是盜賊,你也背上了見色忘義的罪名。現在你單身了,找回熟悉的狐朋狗友,不僅能收獲樂趣,還能幫你治療情傷,忘記前任。

7. Remember The Bad Times

記住以前的不愉快

It’s pretty common for people to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk of this person, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be. Snap out of it. One of the most important of our tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect the bad habits and the little things about the relationship that frustrated you.

男人的通病就是分手之后總會不由得記起對方的好。日子照常過,但突然有一刻,你想起了只有兩個人才知道的笑話,或是一次很棒的約會。接著回憶起前任古靈精怪、討人喜歡的性格,以及非常合拍的愛愛。快點適時停止,提醒你最重要的一點是,不要忘了你們之前的不愉快,以及那些壞習慣和讓你覺得厭煩的雞零狗碎。

8. Exercise Your Newfound Freedoms

利用空閑,釋放自我

Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’re free to do whatever you want (within the bounds of the law, of course).

關系意味著妥協(有時候你不得不放棄自己的時間來維系某種關系)。終于可以利用單身的時間想做什么就做什么了。

9. Hook Up With Someone Else

勾搭其他人

One thing that a lot of guys do to get over exes is get someone else into the picture. If you think you could benefit from a sexual encounter without emotions, it might be work checking out a few hookup websites.

忘記前任很多人都會選擇勾搭其他人。如果單純的新激情能讓你感覺到心理補償的話,那就找個類似“陌陌”的網站。

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