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5月SAT真題作文修改實例

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5月SAT真題作文修改實例

  2010年5月作文題目

  Do people succeed by emphasizing their difference from others?

  

  首先審題,理解成創新類別,也就是讓各位考生寫一個因為創新所以成功的故事。同筆者課上復習的這個題目很類似:Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? 怎么回答呢?結合5月考題,自然是需要創造力,因為有了能成功。

  

  歸納來看,結合去年下半年的考題,大家會發現,美國考官一直在對這個問題進行考察。比如去年11月要不要挑戰新想法,你可以寫不要,因為新想法就是創造力會讓大家成功。去年12月考要不要挑戰權威,自然是寫要,挑戰權威,提出新想法,個人和社會才會更好。再看今年5月份,還是強調不要從眾,要有自己的個性。

  

  我給大家找了一篇滿分作文,寫的是失敗到成功的故事,大家可以參考。

  

   This past year, I was auditioning for the fall play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. To my detriment I thought it would be a good idea to watch the movie in order to prepare. For two hours I studied Elizabeth Taylors mannerisms, attitude, and diction, hoping I could mimic her performance. (背景)

  

  I auditioned for the part of Maggie feeling perfectly confident in my portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor, however, I was unaware that my director saw exactly what I had been thinking. Unfortunately, I didnt get the part, and my director told me that he needed to see Maggie from my perspective, not Elizabeth Taylors.(失敗的記憶)

  

  I learned from this experience, and promised myself I would not try to imitate another actress, in order to create my character. (從失敗中經驗教訓)

  

  Persevering, I was anxious to audition for the winter play just two months later. The play was Neil Simons Rumors, and would get the opportunity to play Chris, a sarcastic yet witty role, which would be my final performance in high school. In order to develop my character, I planned out her life just as I thought it should be, gave her the voice I thought was right, and the rest of her character unfolded beautifully from there.

  

  My director told me after the first show that Rumors was the best work hed ever seen from me, and that he was amazed at how Id developed such a believable character. (成功)

  

  實戰演練:接下來我們來做一個工作,就著這個素材來寫5月的題目。Do people succeed by emphasizing their difference from others?

  

  大家從題目里面找到兩個重點,一個是不同,一個是成功,需要用細節去細化。接下來圍繞這兩個點,結合例子素材,整出例子的思路鏈條。

  

  例子思路:背景(參演學校話劇的演出)為了成功,看Taylor 的演出,為了做到和她一模一樣(點題)失敗安排導演宣布失敗理由(完全沒有體現出自己的個性,要有不同)痛定思痛準備下一次演出強調自己的個性(點出題目的difference),按照自己的方式給出這個覺得的聲音包括表演方式成功(安排導演講出)

  

  修改版:

  This past year, I was auditioning for the fall play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. To my detriment I thought it would be a good idea to watch a relevant movie starred by Elizabeth Taylor in order to prepare. For two hours I studied her mannerisms, attitude, and diction, hoping I could mimic her performance.

  

  I auditioned for the part of Maggie feeling perfectly confident in my portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor; however, I was unaware that my director saw exactly what I had been thinking. Unfortunately, I didnt get the part, and my director told me that he needed to see Maggie from my perspective, not Elizabeth Taylors.

  

  I learned from this experience, and promised myself I would not try to imitate another actress. Instead, it is imperative to find out my difference, namely, my unique way of acting, in playing a new role.

  

  Persevering, I was anxious to audition for the winter play just two months later. The play was Neil Simons Rumors, and would get the opportunity to play Chris, a sarcastic yet witty role, which would be my final performance in high school. In order to develop my own character, I placed emphasis on originality, planning out her life just as I thought it should be, giving her the voice I thought was right; naturally, the rest of her character was unfolded beautifully from there.

  

  Then I went for another try. (加強過渡)After the first show my director told me that Rumors was the best work hed ever seen from me, and that he was amazed at how Id developed such a believable and different character. (成功)

  

  2010年5月作文題目

  Do people succeed by emphasizing their difference from others?

  

  首先審題,理解成創新類別,也就是讓各位考生寫一個因為創新所以成功的故事。同筆者課上復習的這個題目很類似:Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? 怎么回答呢?結合5月考題,自然是需要創造力,因為有了能成功。

  

  歸納來看,結合去年下半年的考題,大家會發現,美國考官一直在對這個問題進行考察。比如去年11月要不要挑戰新想法,你可以寫不要,因為新想法就是創造力會讓大家成功。去年12月考要不要挑戰權威,自然是寫要,挑戰權威,提出新想法,個人和社會才會更好。再看今年5月份,還是強調不要從眾,要有自己的個性。

  

  我給大家找了一篇滿分作文,寫的是失敗到成功的故事,大家可以參考。

  

   This past year, I was auditioning for the fall play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. To my detriment I thought it would be a good idea to watch the movie in order to prepare. For two hours I studied Elizabeth Taylors mannerisms, attitude, and diction, hoping I could mimic her performance. (背景)

  

  I auditioned for the part of Maggie feeling perfectly confident in my portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor, however, I was unaware that my director saw exactly what I had been thinking. Unfortunately, I didnt get the part, and my director told me that he needed to see Maggie from my perspective, not Elizabeth Taylors.(失敗的記憶)

  

  I learned from this experience, and promised myself I would not try to imitate another actress, in order to create my character. (從失敗中經驗教訓)

  

  Persevering, I was anxious to audition for the winter play just two months later. The play was Neil Simons Rumors, and would get the opportunity to play Chris, a sarcastic yet witty role, which would be my final performance in high school. In order to develop my character, I planned out her life just as I thought it should be, gave her the voice I thought was right, and the rest of her character unfolded beautifully from there.

  

  My director told me after the first show that Rumors was the best work hed ever seen from me, and that he was amazed at how Id developed such a believable character. (成功)

  

  實戰演練:接下來我們來做一個工作,就著這個素材來寫5月的題目。Do people succeed by emphasizing their difference from others?

  

  大家從題目里面找到兩個重點,一個是不同,一個是成功,需要用細節去細化。接下來圍繞這兩個點,結合例子素材,整出例子的思路鏈條。

  

  例子思路:背景(參演學校話劇的演出)為了成功,看Taylor 的演出,為了做到和她一模一樣(點題)失敗安排導演宣布失敗理由(完全沒有體現出自己的個性,要有不同)痛定思痛準備下一次演出強調自己的個性(點出題目的difference),按照自己的方式給出這個覺得的聲音包括表演方式成功(安排導演講出)

  

  修改版:

  This past year, I was auditioning for the fall play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. To my detriment I thought it would be a good idea to watch a relevant movie starred by Elizabeth Taylor in order to prepare. For two hours I studied her mannerisms, attitude, and diction, hoping I could mimic her performance.

  

  I auditioned for the part of Maggie feeling perfectly confident in my portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor; however, I was unaware that my director saw exactly what I had been thinking. Unfortunately, I didnt get the part, and my director told me that he needed to see Maggie from my perspective, not Elizabeth Taylors.

  

  I learned from this experience, and promised myself I would not try to imitate another actress. Instead, it is imperative to find out my difference, namely, my unique way of acting, in playing a new role.

  

  Persevering, I was anxious to audition for the winter play just two months later. The play was Neil Simons Rumors, and would get the opportunity to play Chris, a sarcastic yet witty role, which would be my final performance in high school. In order to develop my own character, I placed emphasis on originality, planning out her life just as I thought it should be, giving her the voice I thought was right; naturally, the rest of her character was unfolded beautifully from there.

  

  Then I went for another try. (加強過渡)After the first show my director told me that Rumors was the best work hed ever seen from me, and that he was amazed at how Id developed such a believable and different character. (成功)

  

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